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Making the Most of Your Twenties

5/1/2019

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By: Raffi Laitamaki
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A little over a month ago, I turned twenty and my mom decided it was the perfect time to buy me a self help book about my twenties titled “The Defining Decade.” At first, I laughed a little at the gift because I didn’t think that turning twenty was a big deal nor did I think I needed a self help book, but when I sat down to read it I realized that as always- my mom knows best.
If you just turned twenty, are about to turn twenty, or are currently in your twenties this book is a must read. “The Defining Decade” helps explain why our twenties matter and why we should make the most of them right now.

Why do our twenties matter so much? Our personalities change more during this decade than at any time before or after. Before reading “The Defining Decade,” I had no idea that our twenties are our “best chance for change” because I had always heard that our childhood and adolescence shape our personalities tremendously. Similar to most people my age, I thought that who I was and what I was capable of was already largely determined by my childhood. I was wrong, and that is so exciting. It is exciting because there is still time to change- time to figure out who I want to be and deliberately work at making myself a better person.
    Our personalities change more during this period because our brains are not fully developed. The frontal lobe of our brain processes rational thoughts and allows us to think about the future, but this vital section does not fully mature until sometime between the ages of twenty and thirty. Therefore, every interaction and experience we have right now creates new connections in our brain that increase our capacity to learn new things. Right now our brain is being shaped by the people we talk to and the jobs we take, but in the future it won’t be as easy to learn new things or become who we want to be. After age thirty most of our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are relatively stable, meaning that for the most part we are who we are. So don’t wait- now is the time to become who you want to be.

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Peanut M&M's and Semesters Abroad

5/1/2019

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By: Siri Ranganath

For all the people studying abroad next year who see punny instagram captions from foreign countries and get nervous...

Study abroad is marketed to Stern students as an essential part of our “global education”--we get to settle in a foreign country and further our studies in places where the opportunities to enrich ourselves are endless. The freedom that comes with being abroad is undeniably attractive to the Stern undergraduate; we gain this freedom when we come to New York as freshmen and continually seek more of it. It’s an insatiable desire to be free of the things that tie you down, an inherent desire in people reaching their twenties.

On a personal level, I understand this. I can never forget how I felt opening up the portal on Albert that told me that I was accepted to the London campus in the Fall. The first feeling was complete elation; after all, I was excited to move somewhere even further away from home than New York, where I could learn and grow in new ways. The second feeling was relentless anxiety.

You spend months building a new network at NYU--you find people that bring NyQuil to your room at 11:30 PM when you’re sick, people that get frustrated for you when you can’t figure out how to do a Micro problem, and people that stay on the phone with you when you walk home alone when it’s dark out. In a single portal update, that network seems to collapse upon itself.

It’s not that you don’t think you’ll find more people to build a new network with abroad. It’s not even that you don’t think you’ll be able to build a new life abroad, but it’s the basic fear that you’ll get replaced because New York is too big to stop moving without you. Because who will your best friend grab Dollar Pizza with after your late night essay submissions? Will that person make jokes that slap just as hard as yours do? That seat you always claim in the West 4th Starbucks to read in--will someone else sit there to drink their coffee before a 9:30 AM class? You’re the person that eats all the Peanut M&M’s from the UC vending machine. Is that slot just going to stay mostly full when you’re gone? Does anyone on this campus love Peanut M&M’s as much as you do? Probably not, I promise.

We can’t find a definitive answer to any of these questions, and that’s what makes this process of packing up and leaving so difficult. Here are some tips to help you make sense of this vague anxiety you feel and cope with it:

  1. Spend time with your friends as much as you can, especially if they’re not joining you abroad. I know we have midterms and then finals, but we can’t adopt the mentality that “once ____ assignment/project/exam is over, I’ll have time to be with the people I care about.” You deserve to have fun.
  2. Connect with the people studying with you at the location you’re enrolled in. They’re going on this adventure too!
  3. Stay on top of the logistical requirements for studying abroad, whether it’s getting a new passport or applying for housing.
Remember that you’re going abroad! You’re moving to another country for a few months. Plan the trips you’ll make and genuinely get excited. It’s going to be amazing.
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